Testing the Waters

My youngest daughter has always been the most easygoing of my three kids. I've never been quite sure if it was her nature or if she just knew she had to be that way to keep up with her older siblings. She never really had much of a schedule. She napped on the way to soccer, nursed in the car outside hockey rinks and constantly had her little world interrupted by her brother and sister's friends coming in and out of the house. Yet she never complained, made demands or even seemed the slightest bit bothered by the chaos around her. I was beginning to believe that I had the perfect child. Slowly, as she approached five, it all began to change. I noticed little things at first, like she began asking for everything that she saw on TV or in a store, "I want that toy!", "buy me that doll!" Then she stopped wanting to take showers or brush her teeth. Soon she began blackmailing me, " If you get me more cake I won't scream!" or "I'll put my toys away after I have a play date!" In five years she had never had a time out and now she was spending more time in trouble than not. As maddening and frustrating as it had become, I was thrilled! My peaceful and beautiful well behaved little angel had been stressing me out. How can a child go through life perfect? How can they never be disappointed as a child and survive as an adult? Kids need to test themselves and others, face consequences and meet with adversity. It's hard to see your kids unhappy, picked on or not get what they want. But without having some degree of unhappiness in childhood, our kids won't develop their most important quality as an adult, character. Do your best to keep your kids safe and keep them healthy, but let them feel a little unhappiness once in a while. Let them want things that they can't have. Let them know that they are not perfect. It may seem like they hate you for it now, but they will truly appreciate it later.

Freaky Friday

Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. I love the spookiness and mischief of that night at any age. The cold air and dark sky, everyone running in the streets dressed up. My five year old can't wait to put on her Hannah Montana costume, putting her hands in that "yucky pumpkin mush", and filling her bag with as much candy as humanly possible. My ten year old is planning her night with the girls. Organizing her friends, what streets the will hit and who will sleepover. I'm not sure what my thirteen year old is planning, but I'll bet it has to do with a role of toilet paper and a can of shaving cream... that's the one I'll be keeping an eye on. Last year one of his friends decided that he was going to egg something. He bragged to all of his friends and they quickly jumped at the chance to join in the fun. They spent most of the evening arguing over what they would throw the eggs at, a passing car, other kids, the school. A few of them wimped out pretty early on while others got annoyed fighting over what the plan would be. The boy finally lost his "gang" and ended up only having the courage to egg his own house, alone! His mother was home at the time so he spent the next day cleaning the mess. A Halloween he will never forget.

From babies dressed as pumpkins to dads carrying princesses on their shoulders, it's a great night to forget about the real world and enter into the imagination of children who still believe they can be whatever they want to be. Be safe, have fun, and enjoy the night!