Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Snooping On Your Kids Cell


So I've recently found myself in the throws of teen parenting. I've gone from being the coolest person in my son's life to "a pain who knows absolutely nothing". What's freaking me out is that I find myself saying all the things my parents said that made me crazy at that age...fighting over homework, what time to be home and how late he can stay up. The problem is, I remember being thirteen. It doesn't feel like it was that long ago that I was trying to live a life that my parents weren't a part of. Looking for independence, wanting my mom there for me when I needed her and then mad at myself for needing her at all. But, as in every generation , it seems to get more complicated. When I was a teenager (another phrase that I thought I would never say) we didn't have cell phones or AIM or texting. Friends had to call the house or come by to talk to me. My parents had some idea of who I was hanging out with and what we were doing. My phones had cords. There was only so far you could go out of earshot. And the phone didn't have volume or vibrate settings. They rang and rang loud. My mother could hear a late night call and pick up the extension to see who I was talking to. Today knowing what's going on in your kids life is hard and all this talk of respecting your kids right to privacy definitely makes it harder. How can you keep track of your kids without snooping? I can occasionally get fragments when he gets in a mood to tell me something, and it amazes me what his friends will say in front of me. I guess if it's not your own mother it's cool to talk. But I have to admit, I do check the cell phone. Sometimes I'll pick it up and scroll the calls right in front of him, but other times I'll sneak. On the rare occasion that he leaves it unattended, my husband and I will pounce on it just to get a little idea of what's going on. I want to know that he's safe and happy and behaving. Some people might think it's wrong, but he's my kid and my responsibility. And after all, as my dad would say, I pay the bill.

1 comment:

Karen said...

There is an old saying, "little children are little problems, big children are big problems". Let the games begin. The teen years are so very difficult for the teenager and the parents. Trying to get teens to see you are still their parents and you are still in charge is the biggest challenge. Hang tough, Emmy Mom, be in his business, big time! From the mother of 2, grandmother of 5, in the popular vernacular - been there, done that. It is a struggle, but in the end, you will have so much of which to be proud.
Karen of Baby's Own Room